Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
