forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
