i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
