Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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