my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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