Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
