Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
