She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
this is an emotional support booty call
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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