We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
