I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
