dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
