I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
