it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
