He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
