I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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