help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
