I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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