i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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