positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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