I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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