Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she peed on how many people?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
