Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
