There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
