would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
