Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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