Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
