so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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