Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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