Its about making memories worth repressing
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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