Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
