I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
