If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
