if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
