you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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