I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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