i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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