just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
