I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
