i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
