You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
