my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
