I've blown a few things in my day
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
either way he was missing a nipple.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
