who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
