she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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