I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
