I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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