i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
