The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize