More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
