it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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