My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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im on a boat
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