areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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