Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
