I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
