quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
