No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
