Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize