In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just tell him i said nine months
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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