the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The adults are the big ones right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
