just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
