Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
