At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize