i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
