I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
