I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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