You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
