shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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