Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
