"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
