awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
